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50/50 custody modification Pennsylvania

On Lawyer & Legal » Family Law

8,669 words with 6 Comments; publish: Mon, 26 Mar 2007 10:59:00 GMT; (80062.50, « »)

I hope someone can give me some insight on this...Ex husband and I have an 8 year old daughter from our marriage. Both of us are remarried, he and his new wife have a child together, new wife also has child from a previous marriage. After a small time of trying - my new husband and I are also expecting. Ex husband and I got a divorce after 3 years of marriage...this was 6 years ago. Our daughter was 3 years old at the time of the divorce. I was granted primary custody. Daughter is with her father on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3:30pm to 7:30pm and every other weekend. This has been the case for the last 5 1/2 years. Everything was fine, so I thought. Ex has filed a petition to modify partial custody to 50/50 custody and is requesting the one week on and one week off deal. They are making up things that I have "said" and their argument is that it is in the best interest of the child because I am "thwarting a relationship between her and her father and her father's new family". This is totally untrue. She calls her father's whenever she wants to, they also call her when she's with me. They have asked for her on numerous occasions during my time and if she wants to, she goes with them. IMO it is quite the contrary and I feel as though he is not helping in establishing relationships at all with anyone but himself and his family. There are so many details that I could discuss, but this post would go on forever. I do have an attorney. So, what I am asking is has anyone else been is this position, if so how did it turn out? Where do I go from here?

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  • 6 Comments
    • I agree, but in our case I believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

      Our daughter DOES NOT want this and has told her father this. He tells her not to worry about it. He initially began asking her if she wants to stay at this home more....and that was his only question. He did not describe to her at all what this would entail. She, of course, told him yes. I understand she wants to see her Dad more (and vice versa) and I am completely open to it. I did offer him more time in the summer, this was not good enough for him.

      Anyway, he then filed for the 50/50 modification after he asked our daugther if she wanted to stay there more. After he did that, it was recommended to me by professionals (attorney and a friend who is a psychologist) to tell her very vaguely what is going on (NO DETAILS). This way I could find out what she wants. It was also recommended that I make a calendar and color code it for "Mom Days" and "Dad Days". I did that, I made what we do now and what could happen. That opened up her eyes and she knew she didn't want to go a whole week without seeing either of her parents. She's happy how it is right now, she sees each of us every other day during the week and then every other weekend.

      StepmominTX, kudos to you for getting along so well...I do wish we could. But, even after almost 6 years we definitely DO NOT get along. Like I mentioned before he doesn't even look at me when I try to talk to him.

      There are just so many details on why she is better off where she is now...but, I won't list those...this post would go on and on.

      Thank you all for your replies...again I appreciate any help I could use in this court case or if anyone else has had to fight this, please let me know what helped (or didn't) help you.

      #1; Tue, 01 May 2007 06:59:00 GMT
    • Thank you for your reply...I'll do some heavy research. I don't see how this would be good for my daughter at all. Right now she has a place to call home, I feel if this happens - she won't. It'll only be mom's house and dad's house, not my house...switching school buses every week won't be good for her, she is only 8. Maybe if the parents have a good relationship something like this would work, we however do not. The ex won't talk to me, if I try to talk to him about our daughter he won't even look at me and only says yes or no in answer to my concerns. Again, thank you for your reply!
      #2; Tue, 27 Mar 2007 04:10:00 GMT
    • I hope someone can give me some insight on this...Ex husband and I have an 8 year old daughter from our marriage. Both of us are remarried, he and his new wife have a child together, new wife also has child from a previous marriage. After a small time of trying - my new husband and I are also expecting. Ex husband and I got a divorce after 3 years of marriage...this was 6 years ago. Our daughter was 3 years old at the time of the divorce. I was granted primary custody. Daughter is with her father on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 3:30pm to 7:30pm and every other weekend. This has been the case for the last 5 1/2 years. Everything was fine, so I thought. Ex has filed a petition to modify partial custody to 50/50 custody and is requesting the one week on and one week off deal. They are making up things that I have "said" and their argument is that it is in the best interest of the child because I am "thwarting a relationship between her and her father and her father's new family". This is totally untrue. She calls her father's whenever she wants to, they also call her when she's with me. They have asked for her on numerous occasions during my time and if she wants to, she goes with them. IMO it is quite the contrary and I feel as though he is not helping in establishing relationships at all with anyone but himself and his family. There are so many details that I could discuss, but this post would go on forever. I do have an attorney. So, what I am asking is has anyone else been is this position, if so how did it turn out? Where do I go from here?

      I've never been in your situation, however, all situations are different, laws in each state are different and Judge's are different so your case may not turn out like someone else's.

      One thing you can do though is to research the effects on kids of the type of custody arrangement being proposed. It's not always a good thing for kids to live in one home one week, then the other for a week, etc. I'm sure there are articles by professionals or case law that you can use to back up your argument in court. Your attorney should be able to handle the case law part, so you can handle the other research, which should help.

      #3; Mon, 26 Mar 2007 17:56:00 GMT
    • 50/50, as with all situations has it's advantages and disadvantages....

      I would suggest a 2 week/2 week schedule myself... but the biggest thing is how close do the parents live to each other as far as school districts? This is a crucial point.

      I will state that I have rarely seen a judge order 50/50 when one parent disagrees.

      The obvious advantage to the 50/50 is equal time with both parents in each home.

      I will tell you from experience though that 50/50 requires one swallowing much more crow then traditional custody and sometimes that isn't a good thing.

      #4; Tue, 01 May 2007 03:00:00 GMT
    • My husband and I have had 50/50 of his daughter since she was 3.....She has two houses, that she loves equally...She has the best of both worlds.....Her mother has a wonderful live in boyfriend and she has a new baby brother at our house..... However, I do agree that we are the exception and not the rule...I get along with the ex because I have too....I have to do it for my husband and step-daughter.....It won't work if you can't live with the fact that until the child is 18 you will have constant(sometimes daily) communication with the ex.......We co-parent our step-daughter...every major decision is a decision that all 4 parents (include boyfriend) make together...of course we don't always agree, but we always do what is in the best interest of the child........when I (stepmom) was in the hosipital my husband's ex and her boyfriend brought me flowers...that is how well we get along....you have too ....it sucks that we pay CS for a child that we have 50% of the month...but it is law and there is nothing we can do about it...

      i would give the 50/50 a try if your child wants too......

      #5; Mon, 30 Apr 2007 18:39:00 GMT
    • Right now she has a place to call home, I feel if this happens - she won't. It'll only be mom's house and dad's house, not my house...

      You daughter will have a place to call home - both your home and her dad's. We have the kids 50/50 and they say they have two homes, not mom's or dad's. She will have another sibling there and that will help make it as much a home to her as your home is.

      Could you do a Tue/Thur overnight and EOW instead of week on/week off? Depending on your daughter, that may be an easier transistion for her. The positive about this, aside from EOW, your daugher will see both parents pretty much every day whether it's in the morning before school or after on your given nights.

      #6; Wed, 04 Apr 2007 17:10:00 GMT